(no longer a secret) Pimento Cheese Sandwich

Would you think me crazy if I told you a sandwich that costs $1.50 is legendary? ‘Tis true. It’s a sandwich that’s as Southern as Magnolia trees and sweet ice tea.

People from all over the world flock to the concession stands of the Augusta National Golf Course to procure one of these sandwiches of piquant cheese slathered between two pillowy pieces of white bread.

It’s the famous Pimento Cheese sandwich, and its ingredients are TOP SECRET.

Much like the Augusta National itself, the recipe for pimento cheese is veiled in mystery. In fact, the recipe is the subject of quite a few contentious debates, including many proprietors taking the recipe with them “to the grave.”

Until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present the recipe for the most famous pimento cheese in the world.

I have it on good authority that this recipe is pertineer (pretty + near) the recipe used at the toonamint (tournament) and I am divulging the secret ingredient.

The secret ingredient? It’s Duke’s Mayonnaise, and it’s a venerable Southern staple. A lady named Eugenia Duke of Greenville, South Carolina, created it. Less sugar + more eggs makes it richer than other mayos.

NOTE: I subbed pumpernickel bread for the soft white bread typically used at the tournament, but you do you. This cheese is fantastic on everything including bagel chips, carrots, pretzels, burgers…

NOTE: You MUST MUST MUST shred the cheese by hand. Pre-shredded cheese will not yield the same creamy deliciousness as hand-grated.

I leave you to debate among yourself the peerlessness of this renowned recipe. While I love this sandwich, I cannot discount that pimento cheese is merely one component of the entire Masters experience. So when you bite into your sandwich, I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting on verdant grass under the shady branches of the loblolly pines, amidst the ruffled azaleas, birds chirping and soft winds blowing. That is Augusta in spring.

Wash your pimento cheese down with a lip-smacking Arnold Palmer or, if you are feeling cheeky, a John Daly.

Enjoy!

XXOO AB

(No Longer a Secret) Pimento Cheese (for 4-6 sandwiches)

INGREDIENTS

• 3 cups hand-shredded white cheddar cheese
• 2 cups hand-shredded sharp (yellow) cheddar cheese
• 4 ounces hand-crumbled blue cheese
• 1 cup hand-shredded Parmesan cheese
• 1 4-ounce jar sliced pimentos, drained and chopped
• 1 cup Duke’s Mayonnaise
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• a sprinkle of garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and S&P
• 8-12 slices of the softest white bread you can find

Blend ingredients in a food processor. Chill until ready to use.